"i was gonna do some mailorder downstairs but they're playing [bandname withheld] down there"

"does whitehouse do any ballads?"
"i guess 'a cunt like you' is kinda like a ballad"

"this makes bon iver sound like metallica"

"whoa fedex's hold music is really chill-wave"

"i'm not really sure what's so 'monster' about this ballad"

"he said he's coming to revolver to get reinspired and reinvigorated about what he does in life. i hope we don't disappoint."
"maybe no-pants friday would help?"

"i hate having to give myself the 'don't worry you can do (this one thing) high' pep talk"

"ok ok, it's finally time to distract the whole room"

"actually it's a good thing that music has died"

"i know him! he does a dj night called 'england belongs to twee'"
"that sounds like my personal hell"