"this is totally sleeveless sweatshirt music"

"ughhh turn this off! nothing should make me WANT to hear christmas music"

in reference to the pitchfork top 100 tracks

"oh my god they listen to the same stuff as kindergardeners in romania"

this is especially good if you know who said it

"oh man, this song is cruel and unusual punishment"
"meaning, another day at revolver"

"i wanna drink a bottle of sailor jerry's while driving a scion into the fader fort"
"i wanna take a video of it and post it on youtube, maybe it'll go viral"